Diet Excuses
By phil
1. But the doughnut was calling my name.
2. I felt left out because they were eating.
3. But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake.
4. The kids over seas are starving, so naturally I have to
clean my plate.
5. I had to get the bitter taste out of my mouth from eating
the so-called dish, so I had a ice cream.
6. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no
calories.
7. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in
the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
8. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you
don’t eat more than they do.
9. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot
chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
10. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look
thinner.
11. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior
Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional
calories because they are part of the entertainment package and
not part of one’s personal fuel.
12. Cookie pieces contain no fat– the process of breaking
causes fat leakage. Exception: Cookies sold by TEXAS D’LITES
distributors. Great “Meal Replacement” with little or no FAT
content, low in calories, lots of fiber, protein, and other
nutritional ingredients.
13. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you
are in the process of preparing something. Examples are
peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a
spoon making a sundae.
14. Foods that have the same color have the same number of
calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream;
mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal
color and may be substituted for any other food color.
15. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are
units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.
November 19th, 2009