Category Archives: Jokes

Feeling Fine

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of … Continue reading

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Things to do on an elevator

1) When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you. 2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3) Ask … Continue reading

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She Was Sooooooo Blonde:

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde: She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She put M&M’s in alphabetical order. She … Continue reading

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Why Parents & Teachers Go Crazy

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George **************************** TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. … Continue reading

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A black man talks to a white man:

When I was born I was black, When I grew up I was black, When I’m sick I’m black, When I go in the sun I’m black, When I’m cold I’m black, When I die I’ll be black, But you: … Continue reading

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Career Woes

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax. After … Continue reading

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POSITION: Mom

Wanted! * TO ALL OF YOU MOMS OUT THERE! POSITION: Mom JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work … Continue reading

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Insurance Claims

The following are real statements found on insurance claim forms. Drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident succinctly. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. I thought my window … Continue reading

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Top Ten Signs That You Are Webbed Out

10. Your opening line is, “So what’s your home page address?” 9. Your best friend is someone you’ve never met. 8. You see a beautiful sunset, and you half expect to see “Enhanced for Netscape 1.1″ on one of the … Continue reading

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Blind Sky Diver

Robert, an experienced sky diver, was readying himself for a jump when he spotted another man outfitted to dive wearing dark glasses, carrying a cane, and holding a Seeing-Eye dog by a leash. Shocked that the blind man was also … Continue reading

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Japanese Banking Crisis

Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving. If anything, it’s getting worse. Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank plans … Continue reading

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Babies

Four expectant fathers were in the Minneapolis hospital waiting room, while their wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and announced to the first man, “Congratulations, sir, you’re the father of twins.” “What a coincidence” the man said with some … Continue reading

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THE RULES

1. The Female always makes THE RULES. 2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice. 3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES. 4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change … Continue reading

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Navy ship

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland. Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees the South to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you divert your … Continue reading

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Diet Excuses

1. But the doughnut was calling my name. 2. I felt left out because they were eating. 3. But it was my birthday, so I had to eat the whole cake. 4. The kids over seas are starving, so naturally … Continue reading

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